Tell me all about your success.

Brag to me about your accomplishments.

Show me the fruits of your labor so that I can ripen my own. 

Crush me under your glory, for it is pressure that molds the most brilliant of diamonds.

I’ve come to realize that I am too scared of what people think of me. This hinders me from having a good conversation with people i’ve never met, afraid to ask for things, embarrassed to make a fool of myself, and over-think everything causing my indecisiveness.

Today I lost an internship when all I had to do was ASK for it and it would have been MINE. It’s time to take action an take my future and not wait for it to come! 

LETS GO!

Behind my smile lies a child lost in an unfamiliar world begging for help, staring at others holding the hand of another as he lies on the cold hard pavement fending of the world on his own. He thought his fate was changing when he was led by the words of salvation and the figments of his own dreams to what finally seemed to be a sanctuary, shelter from the cruel cruel world. But with his eyes wide open, he realized he was in no sanctuary; he entered the den of the green-eyed monster.

Pain struck gradually as the beast ripped out his legs leaving him trapped, slowly bleeding in agony as the pair of emerald eyes pull away into the darkness waiting-just waiting. As the boy lays there enveloped in his own blood and tears, he realizes that he was not meant to be saved. With his bare hands, he blinds himself from the mirage that is forever out of reach and he mutes the world so he can never hear the words of temptation. Knowing once his last breath departs from his lungs, he will be free from pain yet, his heart continues to beat; clinging onto that grain of hope that someone might come to his rescue. 

Till then, the Beast feeds again. 

This empty smile of mine.

I am constantly sailing upon a sea of unrest. Day by day the waves push and pull against the sides of my boat; constantly keeping me in a state of instability and uncertainty. With every sway of my vessel I am challenged with new experiences because no two waves are identical.

In front of me I face a hurricane I have named Temptation. It consumes what it pleases and with many ships lost in its torrential waves and violent winds, it has set its eyes upon me. As the inevitable approaches, I question its purpose for consuming; does it long to fill the void in the eye of its’ storm or is there a deeper meaning behind its chaos?

As I watch the winds pick up and the waves get more and more fierce, I contemplate what I should do. Should I continue my struggle and face Temptation head on or simply be swept up and end my foolhardy voyage seeking “that” which I myself cannot identify or understand? Maybe this hurricane is what I have been seeking or overcoming this obstacle will bring me closer to “that”?

My heart knows only satisfaction. My conscience understands what’s right, yet my compass points to no single direction.

Its my second year of college and my perspectives are changing. The gist of my complex web of thought is that I need to be doing MORE.

I need to be researching my future. I’m nearly 20 and although I say i’m a Management major with a concentration in Financial Engineering; I don’t really know what that entails. I’ve already wasted so much of my life and if I wanna compete in this cut-throat world, I need to step it up.

With the future in mind, I’ve come to an even better realization; life is too short. I’ve been hearing that college is the best time of your life, but never really acknowledge the true meaning of it. Working the 9-5 everyday and have more responsibilities to shoulder means less time to enjoy my life. Just because I need to spend more time focusing on my future, it does not equate to decreasing my thursday friday saturday night going out time. 

I will live my remaining college days following a very simple idea:

Study Hard. Party Harder.

Once more I sit here to wonder if I’ve made the right choice. 

It’s summer again. I am determined to turn my life around this summer. It will not be like other summers. I will accomplish my goals.